Bringing back the 80's!

The meaning of Christmas is sometimes overlooked. Family gatherings, mounds of food, sparkling trees and gifts galore. So- I started out my Christmas like I always do. I attended midnight Mass. I sat in church and silently spoke to God about my deepest thoughts, and at that moment I was very aware of the true meaning of this special time of year. The service started out with an insightful and inspiring sermon. The priest spoke about the light of God. The light was his love and it has shined inside of every single one of us since before our souls ever entered into this world. Tears of gratitude filled my eyes.... The Lord was born to love me, forgive me, give me my strength when I was weak and heal the pains of human trials and errors. What would we be without this. How dark would the world really be? It is a terrifying thought. I gathered myself as we sang "Silent Night" and followed the procession of church goers outside to place our lit candelas in the snow. My boyfriend Michael placed his candle next to mine and we stood in the crisp, dark night and watched our lights burn bright. It was a omen of divine love, of the Lords light. Thank you God, for sending me one of your Angels....
Afterwards, we headed back to the house, drank hot chocolate and began watching the 24 hour marathon of "The Christmas Story". It was perfect.

When I awoke the next morning, I remembered it was Christmas!! Whoohoo!! Michael and I were were like kids all over again. We ran upstairs and looked at all the colorful paper and the bows and ribbons. It was magical. I went to the kitchen and took out the cheese ball I had made the night before. This was a family recipe and it was a tradition to have it for breakfast on Christmas morning. Yum! We seemed to rip through the gifts quickly, everyone taking their turn and looking at everyone else's goodies. We started to notice the snow falling outside and decided it was an ideal time to get our sledding on!! We had just enough time before the Laker game.

Michael's Mom had numerous ski outfits in the closet downstairs that she said I was more than welcome to use. I found the best one. Straight out of the eighties!! It was amazing. I geared up, put my hair in a side-ponytail(it seemed fitting!) and was off. We had a blast. The snow was soft and fresh. I couldn't even remember the last time I had really gone sledding. My first run was the best, believe it or not. Although I did fly off a jump that I didn't even know was there. I have the bruises on my bum to prove it. After awhile the cold had gotten the best of us so we headed back to the house. It was so much fun. I felt like I was fourteen again, not to mention I looked like I did at fourteen! (See above pic) Next up, snowboarding.

Anyways, it was a wonderful day and held many priceless memories. The only thing that could have made the icing on the cake would have been having all my family with me. You were all with me in spirit.

xoxo

Memories of Christmas past

Today I am preparing for my winter holiday....

Packing and re-packing. I feel totally unprepared for I own the exact opposite of winter apparel. As I spend this time alone with my thoughts, I start to think back on all the different Christmas experiences I have had over the years. One of which was as a child. I was around five years old. It is one of the few holiday memories I have of being with all of my family in Akron, Ohio. My parents were still together and my brother Taylor was only a year or two. Half the day was spent with my fathers family. The Italians. I have numerous cousins on this side and we are all very close in age. My cousins AnneMarie, Theresa, MaryKay and I would all play dress up. With costume jewelry on and our new doll babies by our side, we would prance around the house pose for pictures and smile when our fathers would tell us that we were the prettiest girls in the world. The food was authentic and so were the people. The other half of the day was spent with my mothers side of the family. The English/Germans. I was the oldest of the grandchildren and really had to just entertain myself. I remember sitting on my great-grandfathers knee. I remember his hands looking so big. He had been a farmer most of his life and his hands were proof of this. I would sneak cookie after cookie and I would eat my grandmothers famous cheese ball until I felt sick. My favorite thing was to sit under the dining room table and listen to the grown-ups. Their stories were like fables of a far off land. I enjoyed this very much.

So this was Christmas! The changing of houses, the different foods, and the anticipation of all the gifts I was going to get to unwrap and play with. I only attended these family gatherings a couple times before moving to Klamath Falls, OR ; yet the thought of these times stay in me. The crazy thing is that now my mother is closer to the age her mother was then and I am closer to the age that my mother was and my brother is the age my uncles were. The time has gone by quicker than snowflakes in a snowstorm....

This year I look forward to Christmas with new friends and new family. The little girl inside me is still just as excited! This is my favorite time of year. I will reflect on my experiences, my memories and my accomplishments. Now that I am grown the anticipation of this new year and all that it hold is just as magical as it was as when I was a young girl opening that one special gift from Santa and hoping it was a Barbie!!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my friends and family!!! I love you all very much!

xoxo

My Art History

I have started back at school again. This was a pretty big deal for me. I was so nervous about it. I am not sure why. Self-doubt, insecurities, ego ect. All of those things seem to come out when you try to change ones self. I went for it though. Jumped right in!

One of the classes I am taking is Art History. It is terribly time consuming, full of incredible knowledge and absolutely mind boggling! This class covers the 13th century-19th century art. I have found a few unexpected favorites. Such as Botticelli (was actually one of my favorites before the class), Jan Van Eyck, and Titian.

There has been times during this class that I wanted to pull my hair out, but overall I have really gotten into. I surprised myself. What was even a bigger surprise was the essence of humanism that arouse during that time. The Renaissance Period established many of the ideals, rituals, architecture and self-interest that we still use and rely on today. All of this was fascinating to me. I have always been into art as well as history, but until you are properly informed about art and the artist it is quite hard to truly understand outside of admiring ones beauty.

I can honestly say "I already feel smarter!" Its rad... This class has inspired me to start painting. I will post a picture of my first painting. The part of myself that is a painter is very unfamiliar. I feel like I am discovering a new part of myself creatively. It is magical.

Anyways, I am so lucky that I am going through a period of time where I am able to put myself back into school emotionally, physically and financially. I am in aww... of this. Quite proud. When I was younger, even only a few years ago I would never have believed I could do this. Knowledge is power. Period. I will be taking two more classes by this next semester and within a year and a half or so I will be transferring to a university to acquire a degree is Psychology. This is a huge step in re-connecting with others and most importantly re-connecting with myself.
Wish me luck!!
Love-
xoxo

A New Year's Resolution, a bit early...

It is soon the end of 2009..... I dont know about you, but when talk starts happening about New Year's Resolutions, I start to get a litttle anxious. Now, I always have a Top Three. Always the same.

#1. Loose some LB'S. Sometimes 5lbs sometimes 10lbs. Depends on how self-depricateing I am during the year.

#2. Work out more. Same theory as above.

#3. Stop shouting the most horrible things to people when driving. Seriously, It's the worst. I can't believe what comes out of my mouth!



Those are all well and good, but so self-centered! The first two are almost always the same. The third one tends to change, but is always thrown in to feel like I am trying to do something better for other people. ( Stop calling the stupid fucking drivers, "Stupid Fucking Drivers!") We all know that even if I truly stopped yelling at other drivers I would not be making a difference in the world.



What I CAN do is make a difference in My World! Thus the beginning of this blog. My New Years resolution this year is to re-connect. Re-connect with my friends. Re-connect with my family and most of all re-connect with myself. I have always been intimidated to really put myself out there. To be exposed to the elements of the outside world. What people would say and what would they think. Even if the only people that ever follow my blog are my two mothers, it is still so frightening! I am hoping by allowing myself a place to bring my thoughts, dreams, ideas, hurt, embarrassment, humor and everything else my mind and body stumble upon from day to day. I will ultimately grow my personal garden. My soul.



So- I am starting my New Years resolution a bit early. I will be putting it all out there. I encourage my friends and family to grow with me. Please feel free to expose me to your ideas, thoughts and feelings about my life tales. I will keep this blog updated as much as possible.



“She lacks the indefinable charm of weakness.”
Oscar Wilde quote


xoxo